tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47863629277911398632024-03-12T17:50:54.339-07:00Friendship between man and womanKellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01800426666858433844noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4786362927791139863.post-74231740755447695432022-03-13T12:02:00.001-07:002022-07-08T11:06:02.834-07:00How does HE love? Why men's hearts beat differently<p>
For many women it is an absolute mystery: How do men love? Why do they seem to tick so differently when it comes to love? A couples counselor provides exciting answers.
<p></p>
For many women, it's an absolute mystery: How do men love? Why do they seem to tick so differently when it comes to love? A couples counselor provides exciting answers.
<p></p>
They feel constricted quickly, show feelings through actions rather than words: Our expert explains why men tick differently than women. The reason also lies in the traditional family structure.
<p></p>
Time and again, misunderstandings arise - even though the partner only meant well. That happens in the best relationships. But how do men love? BILD der FRAU talked to couples counselor Michael Mary ("Wie Frauen und Männer die Liebe erleben", Nordholt Verlag) about men's hearts, common misunderstandings and their causes.
<p></p>
How do men love? Actions count more than words
<p></p>
Is it also a proof of love when a man gives her a high-tech iron for her birthday?
<p></p>
This is such a typical love misunderstanding. Let's assume that the man didn't buy any gift lovelessly, but actually thought about it. He wanted to make her work easier and bought the best device and informed himself in detail. However, she doesn't want a practical gift, but a romantic one. Both are then disappointed afterwards. When it comes to such points of conflict, it is important to address feelings openly.
<p></p>
There are structural differences between women's and men's hearts
So men really do love differently than women?
<p></p>
Yes, we have to generalize, but the differences are there. They go back to the family structure. The first woman a man loves is his mother. But she not only loved him, she also determined and controlled him.
<p></p>
What are the consequences of this?
<p></p>
Unconsciously, from now on, when he loves, he expects to be confined sooner or later. As soon as his wife asks, "How was the office today?" he thinks, "Oh, she wants to spy on me."
<p></p>
And it's not like that with women?
<p></p>
With them, it's the other way around. They have been shaped by the absent father, who has awakened in the little girl a longing for affirmation. For a woman, there is a connection between love and lack. As soon as a woman begins to love, she secretly fears being neglected.
<p></p>
So the male fear of closeness meets the female fear of neglect ....
<p></p>
She fights for attachment and he fights for freedom. The more she fights for closeness, the more he wants freedom and vice versa. When a woman is with a man, she quickly integrates him into her world of imagination. A man usually takes much more time than a woman before he says "<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casual_sex" target="_blank">I love you</a>"....
<p></p>
Do you also hear "I love you" less often than you would like? A study has found out what the most beautiful proofs of love of the Germans are. Perhaps your partner is also more likely to rely on these acts.
<p></p>
... And she's unhappy because she thinks he doesn't love her.
<p></p>
This is a big misunderstanding: he often just needs more time. If women don't know this, they slowly detach themselves from their partner - while the man is at the same time tightening his ties. Then it is usually the man who is blindsided when the woman suddenly separates. She had the feeling that she is not the most important thing for him. But he loves her, she just misinterpreted his behavior.
<p></p>
Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01800426666858433844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4786362927791139863.post-6916510031176432412022-02-28T10:53:00.001-08:002022-07-08T10:59:17.171-07:00When the partner is older<p>
Those who love each other, love each other: A relationship with an age difference should not be a cause for excitement (symbol image).
<p></p>
Our author loves a significantly older man. For her, this doesn't matter, but for many others it apparently does. What's the point? The relationship column "Me. You. Him. Her. It."
<p></p>
I don't even want to make it exciting. My boyfriend is 19 years older than me. When we met in a bar four years ago, I was just in my early 20s. At the time, I never would have believed there could be a big age difference between us. Then, on our first date, he showed me a photo of himself as a teenager. "Fuck, that's from the eighties," I thought - and avoided the question of age as much as possible. When it came out a short time later, we didn't care. Because: it fit. Soon we moved in together.
<p></p>
At a welcome party for the neighbors, we were finally asked the inevitable question: "Tell me, how old are you?" "I'm 21," I said. Awaiting silence. "Turn 22 next month, though," I quickly followed. "And I turned 40 last year," my friend said with a nervous laugh. All conversation around the table fell silent. "Oh," finally chimed in. And the neighbor who had recovered the fastest, "Well, that doesn't have to mean anything." The others eagerly agreed: "Exactly, as long as you love each other." Many feel they have to comment on, even downplay, our age difference. Apparently, it is still considered abnormal for a younger woman to live with an older man. Abnormality demands an explanation - and is readily degraded to the stuff of jokes.
<p></p>
When we got together, I was in my third semester of college. "Does your new boyfriend have a child yet?" one of my fellow students asked me. "No," I answered simply. "Well, he has one now!" Roaring laughter filled the lecture hall. And there it was again: the urge to justify myself. "Honestly, you can't tell by looking at us," I put in. "He looks 10 years younger, really!"
<p></p>
Since then, I've often reacted that way when asked about our age difference. I had to realize that there is still a stigma attached to a relationship between a young woman and a significantly older man. My colleagues therefore also advised me to write this column under a pseudonym. It could damage one's career because an age difference is still tainted with prejudice, they said. These prejudices are manifold: There is talk of "sugar daddies," and often also of a "father complex or <a href="https://cambabes4u.com/wp-content/blog/cam-sites-better-than-dating/" target="_blank">no strings attached</a>. The woman does it for the money, the man because of the young body. Or because he himself is struggling with his first gray hairs. In short, the relationship is often assumed to be superficial, which in many cases is simply wrong.
<p></p>
Conversely, so if an older woman has a younger man, then this also provides for gossip, usually even much more. But it more often has a positive connotation - a relationship with a younger man is considered "modern". Famous examples are Brigitte and Emmanuel Macron, now also Heidi Klum and - one still hardly dares to write it - her 16 years younger fiancé Tom Kaulitz. The focus of attention is the strong woman, a matriarch even, who can still afford to have a younger man because of her beauty. The young man himself, at least in the reports, is hardly accused of having base motives for entering into the relationship. Why should he, since he is a man and therefore earns his own money?
<p></p>
Many imply that the desire for a significantly older or younger partner already guides the search for a partner. I believe, it is not so in most cases. On the contrary, in most cases a relationship has nothing at all to do with age. Rather, it happens because one has discovered a soul mate in the other person. From that moment on, the age difference plays a role for others at most - and has to serve when there are no other interesting topics for small talk.
<p></p>
Our thinking is still very conservative when it comes to relationships. That's why it's time to modernize the image of a relationship between young women and older men. We women today earn our own money, want to stand on our own two feet and be allowed to show strength - this works just as well with an older man as with a man of the same age or younger. And no woman should have to justify herself for that.
Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01800426666858433844noreply@blogger.com0